I often find myself struggling with the feeling of not doing enough. In American culture at least, time feels like a scarce resource. There’s a sense of competition around who can work the most and sleep the least. And we compare ourselves to others, constantly falling short of a mythic concept of ideal performance. For too many of us, this ideal would require sleeping minimally, working without rest, and maintaining health and mental and physical wellness while doing it.
How many of you find that your to-do list is always looming, even when you’ve stepped away from work to eat or rest or connect with friends and family. How often do you talk down to yourself because you didn’t do all you’d hoped? How much of your mental space is taken up by what you lack and what you haven’t measured up to?
Most of us aren’t taught to celebrate accomplishments, especially the small ones. Our families, institutions, and cultural values place expectations upon us that are difficult or impossible to meet, and we internalize our own unworthiness. Even when we do accomplish something, we tell ourselves that it’s expected of us, feeding into the story that we’re not doing enough.
This is a problem of standards. We set standards that are inappropriate for our present state and thus set goals that are difficult to meet. When we don’t meet them, we feel as though we’ve failed. We hold our depressed and traumatized selves to the same standards as our healthy, well-supported, financially secure selves (selves that may not exist now or for the foreseeable future due to the violence of the institutions we live under and the upheaval of the COVID-19 pandemic).
Mars in Aries has just perfected an exact square to Saturn in Capricorn, an aspect that will hold strongly for about six weeks, coloring the beginning of Mars’ upcoming retrograde. Right now, it’s hard for most people to do much of anything. While Mars wants to floor it, Saturn slams on the brakes. And Mars is slowing down. Capricorn pileup notwithstanding, Mars slowing down is a natural drop in energy. I think most of us right now are feeling the pressure, feeling like our natural reserves are depleted.
For times like these especially, a focus on all that we haven’t accomplished will only add fuel to the malefic fire. Instead of asking “what didn’t I do today?” it may serve us to ask “what did I do?” An additive perspective where each small choice contributes to a greater positive creates space for personal celebration. With this mindset, it’s important to focus on yourself in the present moment, not your past self, your ideal self, or someone else. Did you manage to get out of bed today even though you’re feeling physically and/or mentally exhausted? Celebrate that. Did you take a shower for the first time in a week? You did something impressive.
When your capacity is low—because the astrology is challenging, because the state of the world is weighing on you, because you’re lacking basic (physical, social, emotional, mental, financial) resources, because you’re in a mental health crisis, because you’re sick, because you’re dealing with a flare-up or the effects of a chronic illness—even the “easy” things become challenging. Honor your accomplishments, not by what is supposed to be impressive but by what is challenging for you. And the truth is, even the easy things are worth celebrating. Be proud when you maintain a habit you’re trying to build. Celebrate getting through the work week. Reward yourself. You’re surviving in a hostile, often uncaring system. Your existence is an act of resistance
While mindset and thinking and thinking are only one part of the ecological network of things that affect mental and physical well-being, they are (sometimes) more accessible and easier to act on than many of the other pieces. I make no claims that a change in mindset can solve all or even most of anyone’s problems. But small shifts in perspective may offer some relief. When you think of self-care through a reparenting framework, small acts of love toward the self can offer hope and comfort even in difficult times.
For these next six weeks of Mars and Saturn (and beyond), give yourself credit for the small things. Be proud of accomplishing the things that feel difficult, even if they “shouldn’t.” Celebrate the small accomplishments. Tell the people you love and let them offer you support (they’re more proud than you realize). Allow yourself rewards for hard work. Take rest when you need it, and praise yourself for honoring your body’s needs. You do not have to do it all. All that you have done is more than enough.